A few years ago, I took up rappelling, the art of descending sheer cliffs by rope and harness, so that we could explore the red-rock canyons of Southern Utah. After I had begun to learn the basics, Steve, our guide, said to me, “You’re one of those people who wants to speed up when your adrenaline starts to flow.”
Some things in life have to be earned, and some things cannot be. We can earn respect and reputation by our behavior, but sometimes we need help, or forgiveness, or just a break, that we haven’t earned and don’t deserve. And we can also give to others gifts they don’t deserve and don’t have to earn. That sort of undeserved kindness is captured by the word Hesed, often translated as lovingkindness.
The other day I had coffee with Hal, the father of one of our chavurah members. He had just written his second novel, this one based on his amazing experiences as a Jewish-American soldier fighting the Nazis in World War II. We got together to talk about his book.
One of the current terms of religious discussion that I’ve grown to suspect is “spirituality.” I’m tired of hearing people say, “I’m not religious; I’m spiritual,” which often means I don’t have any outward signs of religious or transcendent life, but, trust me, I possess many lofty sentiments.
Chesed or loving-kindness is an essential human attribute, but it’s first of all a divine attribute. If we want to cultivate chesed, we should pay attention to how Hashem exercises it. And God’s chesed is on display at the conclusion of the Haftarot of Comfort, the passages from Isaiah that we read during this period between Tisha B’av and Rosh Hashanah.
Most people have had the experience of going to a restaurant with other people and having to wait on one person who can’t make up their mind over what to order. The person ordering agonizes over what to get, and meanwhile, everyone else is hungry and waiting, because their order won’t be placed until the indecisive individual comes to a decision. You just want them to order anything just to get the ball rolling.
Use these questions to evaluate your day:
What were the "seeds" that possibly affected your decisiveness today? Social, financial - what were they?
Think of how your day progressed - were you able to make decisions with clarity? Why or why not?
If you wavered on making a decision today, either regarding something that was for the present or for the future, what was the reason for your vascillating? Were you finally able to make the decision, or are you still up in the air?
Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help with decision making?
The greatest impediment to ethical growth may not be ignorance, but immobility. We might have a sense of right, and a conviction about some excellent course of action, but fail to pursue it through indecisiveness, endlessly weighing the pros and cons, or the difficulties and complications and never getting around to doing the right thing.
